So, you know when you have a dream, and it's about someone you don't want to be involved with? Yes, I just had one of those dreams over my period of sleep. Well now, I believe I am back to liking this guy again. I keep thinking about it all. He's only in one of my classes, so it's all good.

I always thought that this guy was a huge asshole. That was because, I was really obsessed about him, and really hardcore crushing on him. And then he went and date a friend of mine, in who, I don't consider a friend anymore. It was kind of a dick move, but what could I do? I mean, he didn't like me. And I don't think he ever will. I'm not sure, maybe if I lost all of my weight, and was beautiful, then maybe he would.

I don't know, in my dream I liked him again, and he seemed to be tired of it, and he still liked his ex, who used to be my friend. We went somewhere in his car, and I was getting mad about something, and I was like," I'll leave you alone if you take me ONE football game." and he said," Just one? Fine." And we ended up at some place, where there she was...and she was mad at me, and i was mad. And this dream was just fucked up.

I haven't even really talked to him, since everything happened. It went from being best friends in 5th grade to not friends at all. I miss actually talking to him, and stuff. But I guess I ruined all of that with my stupidity. He was actually THERE for me, and actually LISTENED to me. But I didn't like how he was giving me the truth about everything. I didn't like it one bit. So I called him an asshole, a jerk, a dick...and I hated him, but now I think I actually should've thanked him. I'm ridiculous.

You know after all these years of my pathetic, obsession with him. I wish I wasn't that bad with him at all. I want to talk to him again, I want to be his friend again. But it's embarrassing to talk to him again. It's like he's up at the top, and I'm down to the bottom, and it's like wrong for me to talk to him. Totally wrong. I don't know. What should I do?